


Parenting is Hard

by counting2fifteen



Series: parent!phan (chronological) [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Parenthood, basically they came out and got married and adopted as soon as it was legal, but they have a daughter and it's really cute, parent!phan, slight AU, so no tatinof etc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 07:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counting2fifteen/pseuds/counting2fifteen
Summary: Phil accidentally gets their daughter's age wrong in a liveshow. Dan won't let him forget it.





	Parenting is Hard

They tried to keep their daughter out of vlogs, but they talked about her frequently. What proud parents wouldn’t? So when Dan told a story about Fiona during a livestream, it was nothing unusual.

“So, we were incredibly embarrassed, of course, but Fiona has no shame,” he finished.

Phil sighed. “Ah, to be three again.”

Dan laughed. Phil looked confused. “What?”

“Phil,” Dan gasped between laughs, “Oh my god, Phil.”

Phil looked at him. “What?”

“Oh my god. Phil, Fiona’s birthday was two months ago. She's four.”

Phil blinked. “Oh,” he said.

Dan was still laughing. “Oh? That's all you have to say about forgetting your daughter’s age?”

Phil was starting to laugh too now. “It's been a long day,” he protested, “I normally know how old my daughter is. I swear.”

Dan shook his head. “That's it,” he joked, “I want a divorce.”

Phil played along. “Please, no! I can change, I swear!”

Dan sighed. “It’s too late, Phil. I’m sorry.”

The conversation moved on from there. Phil told a story about the last time he went to the gym (he fell off the treadmill and ran into his old personal trainer), Dan promised a world tour (“Eventually, guys, it's just hard with Fiona”), and they answered a few questions from the chat. Soon, however, Dan heard a noise from the hall.

“Hang on,” he interrupted, “Do you hear that?”

Phil paused. “Hear what?”

“Is that Fiona?”

Phil listened again and heard light footsteps. “I put her to bed an hour ago!”

Dan shrugged, struggling to hold back his laughter. “Sounds like it's your fault then. Your turn.” 

Phil stood up to leave the room. “Fine. I hate you.”

Dan smiled. “Love you too, babe.” Then, leaning back in his chair, he called back, “This is what you get for being a terrible father!”

Phil flipped him off before leaving the room.

Dan turned back to face the camera, smiling. “Hang on, let me read the chat,” he said, his eyes scanning.

“No, we are not bringing Fiona out. You heard Phil, she's supposed to be in bed right now. Also, to everyone hoping I would fall out of my chair, why do you love it so much when I suffer?”

“Anyway, while Phil’s gone, do you want me to expose him as a terrible parent?” Dan asked. The chat was moving at lightning speed, but he thought he caught a few people saying yes.

“Ok, so, you've already heard that he doesn't know how old our daughter is. Did I ever tell you that he sometimes calls her the dog’s name?” He paused to scan the chat. “No? Well, he does, and it's going to give Fiona some serious issues. I'm telling you, that man. Why did I marry him?” 

He laughed as he read the chat. “Because you love him,” Dan read, “Immediately followed by ‘dat ass’ by a different user. Two types of people, am I right?”

He adopted a more serious tone. “Really, though, it takes more than just love to make a relationship work. You also need commitment and- no, Phil and I are not getting a divorce. I'm just trying to give out relationship advice. You guys, I swear.”

“Does he eat her cereal too?” Dan read from the chat. His eyes lit up. “Okay, onto a lighter topic. No, he actually does. I wish I was kidding. But since we let her get the sugary stuff sometimes Phil actually prefers her cereal now. Which is nice for me when I want to eat my cereal, but not so great when I'm trying to feed a four year old breakfast.”

Phil returned, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible and climbing back into the chair next to Dan. Phil ran his fingers through his hair, trying to bring it back up into a quiff. 

Dan’s eyes lingered. “That was quick.”

Phil shrugged. “I’ve been told I’m a pretty good dad.”

Dan snorted. “Not by me.”

Phil leaned forward to read the chat. “Hey, what were you guys talking about? Why is everyone talking about dogs and cereal?”

Dan glared at the webcam. “No one tell him.”

They told him. “Dan! Why?”

“The world needs to know, Phil.”

“Okay, first of all, calling your kids the wrong name is super common. My mum called me Martyn all the time.”

“Okay, yeah, calling your kid the wrong human name is one thing. But the wrong dog name?”

“It’s your fault. You’re the one who gave the dog such a human name. If she was called Spot or something we wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“We also wouldn’t be having this conversation if you didn’t confuse our daughter with our dog,” Dan pointed out.

Phil decided to change the subject. “Well, while we’re on the subject of poor parenting…”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Don’t even try to expose me. I’m un-exposable. I have done nothing wrong. I’m just waiting for the ‘World’s best father’ mugs to start rolling in.”

“Oh yeah?” Phil said, “Because I’m not the one who actually forgot about her birthday this year.”

“Okay, I did not forget about her birthday.”

“You did! That morning, you asked if we had any plans.” Phil grinned triumphantly.

“I didn’t forget her birthday, Phil. I forgot what day it was.”

“So you forgot your daughter’s birthday.”

“I did not! I know what day her birthday is, I just didn’t happen to remember what day it was when I woke up that morning,” Dan explained.

“Oh yeah? What’s her birthday then? 

Dan laughed nervously. “Is this a quiz or something?”

Phil turned triumphantly to his webcam. “He doesn't know!”

Dan glared at him. “Don't be ridiculous, of course I know my daughter’s birthday.”

“Then what is it?”

Dan squinted. “May… sixth.”

Phil shook his head. “The sixteenth.”

“Oh yeah,” Dan said. “That's what I meant.”

Phil whipped his finger up to point at Dan. “Liar.”

“Prove it.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Dan. Let me have one victory.”

Dan sighed. “Fine. I did not remember my daughter’s birthday off the top of my head, which makes me the world’s worst father, even though I have it saved on my phone, like every other twenty first century parent. Are you happy?”

Phil smiled. “Yes.”


End file.
